South Granville - The Cat’s Castle.
Coming in at number one we’re looking at a prestigious 8-bed, 12-bath family mansion in the heart of Vancouver’s West Side. The ideal pet for this listing is clearly a white Ragdoll cat named Snowball. Snowball likes grand entrances with fine art, grand pianos and indoor swimming pools.
When Snowball isn’t resting on fine silk, he prowls the private tennis court on the property, catching nothing. His tiresome excess body fat has made him slow over the years, arguably due to his excessive diet that’s available when your parents buy a property for $28,880,000.
East Richmond - Rover's Spa retreat.
For our next listing we’re wagging our tail over a 36-acre custom-built estate, offering a soaring 20 foot grand ceiling foyer, theatre room and gym.
This property is without a doubt perfect for golden retrievers, especially ones named Rover, with optimal land to get the zoomies, chase birds and fetch balls. This puppy's dream sits just shy of $20 million, so you best believe you’re getting an in-built custom dog bathroom (Luxurious spa retreat in Rover’s eyes) for any of your furry friends. Yes, you read that correctly.
Galiano Island - Soar like a bird.
Perched 180m above sea level, this sun-soaked 2-bed, 2-bath soars above Montague Harbour, with views of the Southern Gulf Islands and the Olympic Peninsula. Perch up in your deer-fenced yard with chicken coop, garden shed, raised beds, pear and apple trees and your own 2.78 acres.
The perfect pet? Two parakeets named Rent and Mortgage in an oversized indoor aviary, with full views of the bay below. As they watch soaring bald eagles and hummingbirds buzzing by the feeders, your parakeets will feel as wild as the $2,850,000 property they call home.
Pemberton Meadows - Pennies the Pig
Our fourth listing combines the best of rural life with a unique commercial opportunity on this 75 acres of agriculturally zoned land. Enjoy majestic mountain views of Pemberton Icecap Glacier, coupled with an extensive commercial infrastructure that includes over 8,000 square feet of food production facilities and greenhouses.
The perfect pet for this listing is the happiest, fattest pig - named Pennies - that Pemberton has ever seen. When Pennies isn’t eating the glorious by-product of vegetation farming, she’s covered in mud. Rich, nutritious, $15,000,000 mud.
North Saanich - 300 Gallons of Zen
You can finally stop holding your breath for our final listing, a newly completed modern waterfront 6-bed, 10-bath estate in North Saanich, Vancouver Island. Set on 1.02 acres of low-bank oceanfront, this property sits just across from Salt Spring Island's Mount Tuam Ecological Reserve. With a zen garden that includes a stately water bowl and Japanese maple trees that lead through to the wide foyer, floor-to-ceiling windows and the main floor's open-concept kitchen, the best pet for this property is a Koi fish named Cornflake.
Take the wilderness indoors and make way for Cornflake’s 300 gallon, double enforced aquarium including external, silenced waterfall-fitted acrylic filter for both mechanical and biological filtration of the highest quality. If your home is going to cost you $13.8 million, we’re sure you can do this for Cornflake.
It’s not all about you when buying a property - sometimes it simply comes down to putting your pig in the shade of a glacier. Now go fetch that listing.Five listings perfect for waking up to a rooster and ending your day with dirt under your fingernails. Whether you're looking to wear your new overalls, or a place to lay your eggs, REW has got you covered.
A chicken did not write this article.
